/Big Question/ Top of the bots
20/08/2008 | Filed under Discover > Big Question
If you could own a fictional robot, which would it be, and why?
B3ta guy
Rob Manuel
B3ta
I once Googled the phrase ‘does not compute’ and found it originated in the 1960s sitcom My Living Doll, starring the beautiful Julie Newmar (best known for playing Cat Woman in Batman) as Rhoda the Android. Most of the plots involve her scientist creator preventing his next-door-neighbour from seducing her. She’ll do. Or my own personal Terminator to kill my haters.
Rob is co-founder of the ‘best of the web’ site B3ta
Web standards expert
Christian Heilmann
Yahoo
A sock pairing robot – this takes up far too much time in my life. Of course, it should look like R2-D2 and be able to do all the other cool stuff it can do.
Christian works for Yahoo as a web developer
Technology expert
Graham Cluley
Sophos
I’d choose Twiki from the 1970s TV show, Buck Rogers in the 25th century. As a life-long Dr Who fan, I hated ITV’s Buck Rogers show with a vengeance. I’d love to take pint-sized Twiki apart with a chainsaw and see if it’s really true that Gary Coleman was inside. Talking of which: Android Deathmatch – surely that would be more entertaining than the current series of Big Brother or Dancing on Ice? How about it, ITV?
Graham is a senior technology consultant at Sophos, a globally recognised security solutions company
Ecommerce expert
Ben Dyer
Actinic
I thought that this was pretty easy but unfortunately my three-year-old daughter vetoed my vote for a squad of Fembots. And despite a great set of PowerPoint slides on the benefits of machine gun jubblies, I’ve been over-ruled again. I realise I’m not supposed to opt for the obvious, but the Pixar marketing machine has meant that my entire household has fallen head over heels in love with Wall-E, and after initial resistance I’ve succumbed to the little chap too. Apart from the benefits of a tidy house and on-tap comedy, I guess that he’d go down well at dinner parties. Quite how I’d feel about this emotionally challenged Dyson look-alike after a few irritating months might be an altogether different thing.
Ben Dyer is Actinic’s director of product development
Hosting specialist
Neil Barton
Hostway, UK
Predictably, if I had a robot I’d want it to do all the boring tasks I don’t have time to do. From the washing up to cleaning the house, it could do all the minor tasks that are time-consuming but necessary. I’d also get it online to check my wishlist against shopping sites to find me the best deal and cross-check it with my bank balance to tell me which bits I could afford to buy this month. My robot could also upload photos from my camera to my PC and Facebook, alert me to interesting articles online and update me on events and concerts in London.
It would also be handy to have my ‘life secretary robot’ give me daily reminders of what I thought I was supposed to be doing, look up new recipes for dinner tonight based on what I’ve enjoyed before and remind me of birthdays and anniversaries.
However, I would worry if my robot was plugged into the internet. It would need watertight security or it might be overwhelmed by spam, cut to shreds by viruses and brought to a standstill by DOS attacks. Worse still, a malevolent hacker might possess my robot and force it to attack me with kitchen implements and my tennis racket. In that case, I’d have to take shelter on the roof, shut it down and completely disassemble it to make sure it couldn’t repair itself. Then I’d need Wall-E to come and pick up the pieces.
Neil is the director of Hostway UK
Project manager
Ané-Mari Peter
on-IDLE
A quick straw poll in the studio revealed quite the selfish nature of what we’d want from a robot – cleaning, waiting on our whims, running our schedules – all the things that we’re quite capable of doing, but either too lazy or time-poor to.
It seems a shame really, all that technology and functionality to cater to the whims of the not-so-nice human.
In a desperate bid to lengthen our time on the planet, and the longevity of our earth, perhaps we should not be building robot slaves, but robot cures to fix the mess that we make of our bodies and the planet. Armies of floating nanobots eating the CO2 emissions in the atmosphere or at the point of source; strings of cleaning bots to remove the harmful oxidants in our bodies that can be remote controlled/re-programmed to target cancerous cells; mini-screens or microphone processors that simulate sight or hearing. Perhaps not as neat as a human-like slave, but perhaps these nanobots can give me the ability to continue to do my own vacuuming even it I’m too lazy to appreciate the wonder of it.
Ané-Mari is the co-founder of on-IDLE and has a background in business management and technology
Content specialist
Siim Vips
Modera
My fictional robot would organise the information that I’m receiving and sending. We spend more and more time sorting the information that’s not organised enough. How much time do you spend thinking where the bit of information you need right now is located in your inbox? My fictional robot would take the stress of organising the information, and also tidy up after me. C-3PO for the Star Wars films is probably the one for me.
Siim is a content management specialist at Modera
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Comments
Aaron / 20/08/2008 / 18:35 / http://www.geckogo.com
I'd love to own Marvin from Hitchhiker's Guide. Aside from being astoundingly intelligent, I think he'd be a lot of fun to hang out with - immensely upbeat and cheerful.
Actually, Data from Star Trek would be very cool to have - although I don't know if you could really own him. In any case, he'd be able to help out with any computational or thought task that I have, as well as be able to do physical tasks like grabbing the groceries, driving around the car to look for a parking spot, etc... It would probably be a little odd to get him to do dishes or laundry though, so I'd need another robot for that stuff.
Simon / 22/08/2008 / 10:46
Marvin the paranoid android.
What couldn't I do with a brain the size of a planet.
Ante / 04/09/2008 / 09:36 / http://www.traveladriatic.net
Well, Data from Star Trek would be fine. Or maybe female version of Data :)
